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My words, “If I knew then, what I know now, I wouldn’t have had children”, are usually met with derision by female friends.
I am bombarded by: “Oh how could you say that? Your boys are lovely”, and yes they are. They’re adults now and I care more about them than any other person in my life, however if I’d known the constant worry that being a parent brings I don’t think I would do it again.
I had a good job, had hobbies and interests, wonderful friends and had never been bored in my life.
I embarked on parenthood because my partner wanted children and I thought it might cause problems in our relationship if we didn’t have them. I even worried he might leave me if I didn’t.
My friends were amazed when I became pregnant and wondered how I would raise a child as I knew nothing about them and had never shown any interest in finding out. Even I had no idea how I would cope and, as an only child, babies were a mystery to me.
Ironically, their father left me anyway when they were four and five and I had the hard work of bringing them up alone.
Had my sons not been born, I do believe I could still have had a fulfilling life and enjoyed different aspects of my life and personality. Of course I can never prove this but feel sure I did not need children to “complete me” as a person.
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